Exes and O

This is a very old post that I just completed. I wanted to lighten the mood in here after my latest musings.

The scene: A discount department store in the home section.

The players: Missy* (my longest friend; we've been besties since the third grade); my ex-boyfriend's Mother, sister and niece; myself.

Background: The ex and I dated in high school. We spent two and a half years in a relationship, with the last year being our freshman year in college at different universities. Our relationship came to its demise after the ex went home for the summer and I spent the first half of summer away at school. (For the record, I can't believe we made it that long; I keep warning my younger brother that he and his GF will break up when he leaves her for her last year of high school to go off to his freshman year of college). I went home for the second half of summer, cried after seeing him out on a date (mind you, I was on a date, too), got over it and went back to school. I graduated on time (a semester early actually), went on to law school as planned and became an attorney. The ex, on the other hand, played around (it is perpetually spring break in the city where his college is located, so I can't fully blame him), took a year "off" and ended up transferring to a different school (ironically, the same one his parents wouldn't let him attend in the first place). Needless to say, he became a super senior and his plans of going to dental school fell by the way side. He recently graduated with his bachelors degree, a whole 7.5 years later. His niece is currently a student of Gayle's (my bestie who is a teacher at our former high school).

The story: One weekend, Missy and I decided we both needed new decor for our apartments. My tummy was hurting awfully bad and therefore, I was rubbing it as if a pregnant woman might. Missy turned and said to me, "You better stop rubbing your belly like that. People are going to think you're preggers." I laughed, protruded my stomach out as far as I could and continued to rub, all in order to mock her.

Enter the ex's family. Being the girl I am, I walked over and said hello. Hugs and "good to see yous" all around. The Mom asked me when did I graduate. At this point, I had been an attorney for 1.5 years and therefore, I told her, I've already made that walk across the stage. She proceeded to say, "I know, but aren't you in grad school?"

Sigh. I don't know what it is, but every time I see someone from back home, they think I am still in law school. Maybe their timing is off or they just can't believe it. Maybe my ex's mom put me on the delayed higher education schedule with that of her son. IDK.

I replied, "Yes, I graduated from law school 1.5 years ago. I'm an attorney." She looked overwhelmed for a second, congratulated me and said she was so proud. We exchanged pleasantries for a few more minutes then went our separate ways.

The following week, Gayle called and asked if there was anything I needed to tell her. "Um...no, not that I can think of. Why?" She told me the ex's niece asked her in class if I was married and if I was preggo. SHOCK.AND.AWE. Gayle said she told the niece, after admonishing her for asking inappropriate questions of course, that I was not in fact married and was not pregnant to her knowledge. I giggled and explained the sitch to Gayle.

See, that's how rumors get started.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.


******UPDATE******: I recently discovered the aforementioned ex is now a daddy! Congratulations, Charlie Brown!

Chasing Waterfalls

My very sage best friend (let's call her Gayle, as in, Gayle and Oprah) told me the other day "sometimes we go different places searching for something that has been right in front of us the whole time." That statement hit me hard because...well...I feel as though even at this stage of my life I am chasing something that's been missing. I always tell people I have been wasting my fabulosity for years (thanks, Kimora). There is a portion of every young woman's life where she can get away with partaking in foolish behavior, such as dating athletes and other "industry" guys even though she knows it won't lead to anything just because he can get her and her friends into VIP and is willing to pay for shopping sprees and trips to the fun cities--you know, Miami, Vegas, DC, NYC--going out every weekend to swanky bars and clubs and to all the major events, and dressing as if she were walking down the catwalk even if she were just going to the grocery store (or, as my mommy would say, like she was at the BET Awards LOL). Unfortunately, this stage of my life was spent in a city where (1) the chances of running into athletes or any other men in the "industry" were about as good as those of winning the lottery (2) there were only a couple of semi-swanky venues and the "major event" was the local HBCU's homecoming festivities and (3) good shopping was nonexistent. See? A waste of my fabulosity. When I read this post of 1969's, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy because when I was younger, I imagined spending my single youth as 1969 described hers.

But, that is a part of my life that cannot be reclaimed. Of note, I'm still single, just not that young. In fact, I'm at the age where I'm "old enough to know better" and can't do the things a younger woman might. Yet and still, I've been planning my grand relocation to a more metropolitan area where fabulousness will be appreciated and expected.

I'm from a small city, comparable in size to my current location, but even less metro. Gayle went back to our hometown after she graduated from college and she's a teacher at the high school we attended. She says of course it would be nice to have things to do and places to go on the weekends and to meet new people, but she is so happy with her job that it makes up for it.

Blank.Stare.

That entire bit of reasoning baffles me. To note, I took my job, which has a predetermined duration, with a plan to relocate after my time there was up. But, even if my job were permanent and I loved it, I don't think that would be enough to make me stay in a city where I feel stifled in almost every other aspect. Unlike Gayle, I expect to be somewhere where I'll have things to do if I so choose and where I can go out and meet new people all the time! But, Gayle makes me wonder, is all that I want and need right here and I keep missing it because I'm so intent on leaving? Is it my destiny to be the proverbial big fish in a little pond, having to go out of town every weekend to get my fix of fabulousness in some other city?

That can't be. I'm simply too fly for that.

The Age of Aquarius.

Aquarius, like all air signs you are remarkably adaptable, as you like change, movement and novelty of all kinds. The bringer of the unpredictable. Always ready to shock and rebel against everything. Aquarius is into personal freedom like no other. They love sudden change and can be perceived to be erratic and unstable. Often misunderstood...

In explaining to a friend (the Astrology Guru) how something I had said to a guy came out wrong, I noted that he typically misunderstands things I say. She said, "just like an Aquarius to say some sh*t wrong and be upset when the other person misunderstands them." She then went on to tell me that Aquarians like myself have a complete breakdown in communication with other signs. (This is the same person who told me Aquarians don't like to be tied/held down in any way shape or form, but like to tie other people down so that we may deal with them at our leisure...LOL). We typically live in our own heads and what we say is sometimes out there (i.e. otherwordly and futuristic). Thus, when I sent this e-card to Exie*, which was my way of saying hello... he, also an Aquarius, mind you, replied basically saying that communication is a two-way street. In other words, he took the e-card as me accusing him of not keeping in touch.

I thought the card was cute and funny and I really AM glad that we stay mildly interested in each other's lives. We don't talk all the time, but we generally keep up with each other. He should stop being so sensitive. ~shrug~ What do you guys think?

*THE Ex, whom I also refer to as my very own Mr. Big.