Someone made this statement to me, and it got me to thinking... must one go to church to be religious? This same question was posed to Kirk Franklin (GC, are you wit' me?!) one morning on the radio. He sagely responded with a question of his own, namely: Do you have to wear a ring to be married? Of course the answer to Franklin's query is no, one does not have to wear a wedding ring to be married. But, he clearly made the point that there are things one does, albeit through formalistic rituals, to signify that they are married, such as wearing a gold band on their left ring finger. Likewise, Christians go to church, among other reasons, to indicate that they are in fact Christians.
I admit that I have been slacking on going to church for the past month or so. Between traveling and having weekend guests, it has been difficult for me to get my praise on. But, I've always felt that I can speak to God on my own, and therefore, did not really need to go to church to feed my spirituality. As far as I was concerned, going to church was optional. And, although I choose to attend because I am of the mind that listening to a pastor preach the word provides me with a deeper understanding of my God and my religion, and because I always feel better after I leave the sanctuary, my reasoning has shifted, and I owe it all to Kirk! I often hear that others should KNOW that saved people are just that; that saved people should be recognized as such both in their words and their actions. Well, a prerequisite for wearing your Christianity on your sleeve is going to church. Thank you, Brother Kirk. I stand corrected.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Breaking Up is Hard to Do
If people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime... how can you tell when their time is up? I think back on relationships I have had with various people, both male and female. Sometimes, it was quite obvious that the relationships would not last, such as those that were formed at a place of temporary employment or the fling that only lasted for the fall. The tricky situations, though, came when I wasn't sure if certain bonds should have been broken.
In my opinion, romantic relationships are very much like familial relationships and even friendships. There has to be trust, mutual respect, compassion and hopefully, a lot of love involved, in order for any of these to work. When one's feelings change or one realizes that a particular relationship is not in one's best interest, then presumably, it is time to move on...whether the "reason" has come and gone or the last game of the "season" has been played.
Right now, I can think of a person who I was very close to for a total of 3 months. Over the course of that summer, we were inseparable and actually shared a lot about ourselves with each other. Ultimately, this person and I drifted apart, and I must admit that it was by my own design. I knew that our friendship was fleeting and we have not remained friends. Albeit, there is no animosity between the two of us, but when that summer ended, things were never the same. Most telling, our "breakup" did not make me sad or feel as though I were losing someone. In essence, I knew that she no longer needed to be a part of my life because the reason for her presence had been fulfilled.
On the other hand, I can think of numerous occasions where it has been difficult to let go of someone even if their explusion from my space were past due. In those instances, as I sat ignoring all signs of the changing tides, said relationships slowly but surely deteriorated. Even now, there is a man who continues to hover in my atmosphere (sometimes with my invitation), although I am well aware that summer has long ago turned to fall. But, I can't imagine having him be a part of me only in memories...
Don't get me wrong. I have lifetime friends, too! In fact, I probably have more than the average person, and I am grateful for them all. So, today, I am praying for discernment and courage... discernment to tell the difference and courage to do what the universe demands of me when I know.
In my opinion, romantic relationships are very much like familial relationships and even friendships. There has to be trust, mutual respect, compassion and hopefully, a lot of love involved, in order for any of these to work. When one's feelings change or one realizes that a particular relationship is not in one's best interest, then presumably, it is time to move on...whether the "reason" has come and gone or the last game of the "season" has been played.
Right now, I can think of a person who I was very close to for a total of 3 months. Over the course of that summer, we were inseparable and actually shared a lot about ourselves with each other. Ultimately, this person and I drifted apart, and I must admit that it was by my own design. I knew that our friendship was fleeting and we have not remained friends. Albeit, there is no animosity between the two of us, but when that summer ended, things were never the same. Most telling, our "breakup" did not make me sad or feel as though I were losing someone. In essence, I knew that she no longer needed to be a part of my life because the reason for her presence had been fulfilled.
On the other hand, I can think of numerous occasions where it has been difficult to let go of someone even if their explusion from my space were past due. In those instances, as I sat ignoring all signs of the changing tides, said relationships slowly but surely deteriorated. Even now, there is a man who continues to hover in my atmosphere (sometimes with my invitation), although I am well aware that summer has long ago turned to fall. But, I can't imagine having him be a part of me only in memories...
Don't get me wrong. I have lifetime friends, too! In fact, I probably have more than the average person, and I am grateful for them all. So, today, I am praying for discernment and courage... discernment to tell the difference and courage to do what the universe demands of me when I know.
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