"But, doesn't that just defeat the purpose?"

As a woman who loves to learn, I enjoy television shows such as 60 minutes.

[As an aside, the result of this love of learning is that I know various random facts... remember Rosie Perez's character on "White Men Can't Jump"... foods that begin with the letter 'Q'... yeah, that's Pretty.]

This episode about an online registry of children created (formed? made?) when their mothers went to their local sperm banks and subsequently got artificially inseminated with the "specimens" proved to be most interesting.

The identities of donors are not disclosed in order for them (and the banks, I presume) to avoid liability. A donor number, however, is provided for general record keeping purposes. This website, created by a woman who bore a child formed with sperm from a bank, allows people to list their "fathers" by donor number and to provide contact information for their siblings to reach them. The result is a network of children born by way of donors identified only by a series of numbers and letters, where true-life long-lost brothers and sisters find each other, often later speaking, and sometimes even meeting and forming lasting relationships!

The owner of the site tracks when matches are made. I was shocked, and a little disgusted, when she revealed that the record-holding donor had TWENTY kids who had registered with the site. I was creeped out because I just cannot imagine a man going half on a baby... twenty times... and getting paid for it! The show also highlighted a man, now a doctor, who had provided over 200 specimens at $50 each, and who recently volunteered his contact information on the site. Not only is he currently married and expecting his first child, but he continues to make donations at the bank. When asked whether he could conceivably have "fathered" over 100 children in the world, he replied, "conceivably." :-

My very good friend, with whom I shared the gist of this episode, focusing on the part about the website, asked... "But, doesn't that just defeat the purpose?" I tend to think it does and will attempt to explain...

I realize that these donors provide a tremendous resource and therefore, I am not in any way negating their importance. However, when I think of going to a sperm bank to get specimen which I would use to be artificially inseminated, I do not suppose I would affiliate a face, let alone a body, to the donor. I think I would view the donor as a mere "tool" that assisted me in creating the baby that I wanted to make. Consequently, I also do not suppose I would envision that other babies, helped along the way by the same donor, would be my baby's brothers and sisters. In fact, (and perhaps this is a tad childish), I think I would view my child as a sole creation of my own; sort of like divine creation, but with science (forgive me, Father). Currently, though, there are a multitude of women who feel differently, as evidenced by the website's popularity.

According to statistics cited on the show, the majority of persons going to sperm banks in the past were married heterosexual couples who, for whatever reason, could not produce a child on their own. In those cases, I surmise, it was easy for the biological father's role to be wiped away, as these families included both a mother and a father, and therefore, (I am not condoning this behavior), the visit to the sperm bank did not have to be advertised to those outside the marriage. The couple could simply find a donor with similar characteristics to the husband and proceed as normal. (Oh, Sean, she looks just.like.you.)

However, as times have changed, the trend has become one where mostly single women or lesbian couples are lining up to choose the traits they want in a child and trekking to the sperm bank to try to find the perfect fit. (I want her to have curly hair and full lips!) In these situations, it is more difficult to explain away the origin of one's little bundle of joy. And, because a father, as well as his extended family, are lacking in these cases, mothers are deciding that they want their children to have something connecting them to the other half of their DNA. Therefore, these mothers of sperm bank siblings are insuring that their offspring at least know each other.

This is the lifeline of the aforementioned website, which, at the time of taping, had 7,000 people registered. I can only wonder how many matches will be made in the future. But, does the site just defeat the purpose?