Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

If people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime... how can you tell when their time is up? I think back on relationships I have had with various people, both male and female. Sometimes, it was quite obvious that the relationships would not last, such as those that were formed at a place of temporary employment or the fling that only lasted for the fall. The tricky situations, though, came when I wasn't sure if certain bonds should have been broken.

In my opinion, romantic relationships are very much like familial relationships and even friendships. There has to be trust, mutual respect, compassion and hopefully, a lot of love involved, in order for any of these to work. When one's feelings change or one realizes that a particular relationship is not in one's best interest, then presumably, it is time to move on...whether the "reason" has come and gone or the last game of the "season" has been played.

Right now, I can think of a person who I was very close to for a total of 3 months. Over the course of that summer, we were inseparable and actually shared a lot about ourselves with each other. Ultimately, this person and I drifted apart, and I must admit that it was by my own design. I knew that our friendship was fleeting and we have not remained friends. Albeit, there is no animosity between the two of us, but when that summer ended, things were never the same. Most telling, our "breakup" did not make me sad or feel as though I were losing someone. In essence, I knew that she no longer needed to be a part of my life because the reason for her presence had been fulfilled.

On the other hand, I can think of numerous occasions where it has been difficult to let go of someone even if their explusion from my space were past due. In those instances, as I sat ignoring all signs of the changing tides, said relationships slowly but surely deteriorated. Even now, there is a man who continues to hover in my atmosphere (sometimes with my invitation), although I am well aware that summer has long ago turned to fall. But, I can't imagine having him be a part of me only in memories...

Don't get me wrong. I have lifetime friends, too! In fact, I probably have more than the average person, and I am grateful for them all. So, today, I am praying for discernment and courage... discernment to tell the difference and courage to do what the universe demands of me when I know.

1 comment:

Chicklaw said...

You know.. I think the compound is a thing of the future... I think it was brought into your life this summer to get you accustomed to the idea. However, the compound is your destiny.