Those blogthing quizzes sooooooooo don't work...

Or so I thought. I took this silly little quiz, with its silly little questions (I know these are so '07, but whatev), "How Are You In Love?" and these are the results:

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You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.
In relationships, you tend to be a bit selfish.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.
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Right on the money.

Fantastical Reality

I'm not in love with you, he solemnly said
And something inside of me shifted.
The subconscious suddenly
Bubbled to the surface
And my bubble burst at the same time.
He reminded me that it was I who had
Placed him atop that white horse
And paraded him around as my prince.
I perched myself on the pedastal he reserved for a
pretty princess.
And since he is such a gentleman
There, he let me rest.
Through a rose colored lense I saw
His chivalry as a testament to his
Admiration and adulation of me.
But, he was just too kind to point out that the seat
Was not mine nor ever would be.

With new resolve...

This blog started as an experiment of sorts, without much planned direction or purpose. Considering how much I like to express myself through prose, I feel the need to write more frequently on this small piece of real estate in blogsphere. And, to be totally honest, I lurk so much on other people's blogs, that I should say something at some point on my own. :-) So, with new resolve, I will attempt to write at least weekly. On with the show!

Have you ever felt the need to just....... take a day off from life? Like you need a vacation from each of your responsibilities, including your job, family, friends, even your own thoughts? That is exactly what I'm going through as I type. There is so much on my to-do list right now (or so I feel), that I don't even know where to start.

I'm still struggling with my next career move. Only one thing is clear: I want to move to a different locale, a metropolitan area where there is a plethora of upwardly mobile young black professionals. Since I tested living in MD for two and a half months when I thought I wanted to attend law school there, and failed miserably (yeah, right, that was the "worst winter in years"), DC is out. That leaves the one and only obvious choice: Atlanta. I planned to take the Georgia bar exam anyway. (Sidenote: The best laid plans usually go awry. Four and a half years ago when I began law school, I never thought I would want to practice anywhere besides the Sunshine State. Now, I am uber-annoyed that I cannot just get up and move to a different state without taking an extremely difficult, oftentimes expensive exam. The nature of my profession certainly limits mobility, to my chagrin.) Since the jurisdictions are so geographically close, being licensed to practice in GA will make me marketable to firms here in FL, and therefore, I made plans to take the exam this July.

So, what is the problem, you ask? There is something telling me that ATL is not the place for me. The voice is tiny, almost a whisper, in the back of my mind. I'm still trying to decide if the voice is one of intuition or of fear and/or negativity.

My other choice is a city in central Florida, which was my first choice up until recently, when I honestly assessed what I want out of the city in which I choose to reside. Most of my current "issues" deal with the fact that I could probably very easily get a great job in this city. This makes timing difficult, as I do not want to pursue employment heavily in FL until I have considered my options in Atlanta (which, at this point, are none). Either way, come August, I plan to be starting an awesome new job.

I am also unconvinced that I'd like to live in city in central Florida. Speaking to a Soror one day over g-mail chat (the best thing EVER) about said city (in which she was born and raised), she told me: "The young black professional crowd is little to none. You'll be disappointed. But it seems like that is the case everywhere except Atlanta and DC." Ugh! I have and will continue to pray for guidance from above. It's so very frustrating to know that you can relocate to any location in the country, but to not know where you want to and, more importantly, need to be.

Through the (HUNDRED) years as we struggle....

Today is 1-9-08!!!!!!! ONE-NINE-OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-EIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Skeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, my Sorors!

"We don't Superman no mo'. We just Super-STALK that..."

You know the rest. (Thanks, Soror, for the quote!) You ever get a random call from someone you haven't spoken to in ages? How about this for a funny story:

I am at the office and have just finished my morning routine of checking four e-mail accounts (one for work; the other three personal) and my three favorite blogs (shouts out to Nineteen Sixty-Nine), when my phone rings. Checking the caller ID, I notice the caller is from a strange (as in, I don't know who this could be) area code. I thought about all the resumes I had sent to various firms in the past few weeks, so, I put on my best "work voice" and answered. As soon as I heard the other voice on the line, I thought to myself... W.T.F. It was a guy I used to date many moons (okay, really only 6-7 months) ago, with whom I deliberately stopped communicating for various reasons.

I told him that I was surprised to hear from him... especially on my work line (since I had never given him the number and we were never at the point where we called each other at the job). He explained that he had recently moved out of the city for a better job opportunity, that only a few of his friends knew he was moving beforehand, and that he had gotten a new cell phone and inadvertently lost all the numbers from his old one. And just how did he get my phone number at work? Let's just say he looked it up on a website that shares all my professional contact information.

Being the skeptical person I am, I don't know that I completely buy his story about losing the numbers from his old phone. Considering the fact that I stopped answering and returning his phone calls in early summer, I suspect he called me at work because he knew I would not answer some random number on my celli. Oh, well. I guess we really don't Superman no mo'. But, super-stalking is so not a good look.

Under Construction

Today is one of those days that I feel like I have my entire life ahead of me and I can do anything I dream! Right now, I'm at the point where I am starting my career and cementing what I want out of life and who I really am. Some days I feel truly lost. I find myself asking what step am I supposed to take next? What if I make a wrong turn? What does the future hold? I plan to make a big move, both location- and career-wise, in the next year. It fills me with excitement to finally get a change of scenery (I don't call this place "Tallawacky" for nothing) and to pursue other avenues of my profession. However, it is also easy to get discouraged from making such moves when one thinks of how comfortable one's current situation is. I know, though, that I want more out of life and that I have outgrown my surroundings. I only hope that things work out in the end, like they always have.

Just Call Me Bill

Recently, I was on the phone with a (never-married, childless, thirty-something) guy friend and, as it is wont to do, the conversation turned toward romantic relationships. Particularly, we were theorizing about ever-changing dating rituals and the mentality modern women and men have toward marriage. Then, this clown said the unthinkable. It went like this:

Guy: I'm not sure I want to get married. I mean, I just don't know if it's worth it.

Pretty: ~silence~

Guy: You want to know the reason I would get married? It's like eating dinner when you're not really hungry. You know if you don't eat, you're going to wake up in the middle of the night starving. That's how I feel about marriage. I don't really want to jump the broom, but I feel like I should, lest I wake up ten years from now wanting a big plate of fried chicken and macaroni and cheese.

Pretty: That's oh so romantic. I'm sure your future wife would just love that proposal. ~smirk~

Mind you, this is coming from a man who grew up in a nuclear family, fully equipped with a Dad, Mom, kid sister and the proverbial white picket fence.

Kids sure say the darnedest things.